“As you Age”
…Interaction between Senior’s and their Adult Children

By Philip D. Shapiro, M.H.A.

Part #1 of a 3-part series

You’re Considering Moving to a Senior Living Community, but….

You’re so used to your home (where you may have lived for some 25+ years) that you just can’t visualize such a significant move in your life. Or, you’ve rationalized that you will surely benefit by passing on many of the mundane and overwhelming responsibilities of living in a home to the professional, caring staff at your chosen senior living community (such as not having to shop for groceries, cook and do dishes, or clean house, or cut the lawn and weed, etc…) yet you’re frightened about the “unknown” of moving to a community where you don’t have as much control. Possibly, the thought of the “big move” itself is scaring the heebeegeebies out of you. All of these feelings add up to some real anxiety that can be further exacerbated by your imagination.

So, let’s pretend for a minute that we are auditors and it’s our job to break-down the real and mythical issues about making a move to a senior living community. I’d like to focus first and foremost on the reasons that have prompted your interest in considering a relocation. Recently, you’re finding it more challenging to cope with all the daily chores that are now taking more of your personal time. With the change in the weather, it’s more difficult to get to the grocery store, shovel snow, and take out the garbage. At home, you dread preparing your meals, cleaning up and washing dishes, wash/dry/fold and changing out your linens and towels. You’re spending much more time these days writing numerous living-related checks and balancing your checkbook. Consider the additional frustration of having to cope with a leaky roof. You’re living alone so you get some help from your kids when they can squeeze out some time. You’re not socializing as much as you used to because it’s becoming harder and harder to leave home (and the same goes for your friends). You’ve never gotten accustomed to taking the bus, but you’re not as comfortable driving around town. Many or all of these points have brought you closer to the idea of moving to a senior living community.

At a senior living community, it’s sort of like being on the Monty Hall Show- you can trade in your home and chores for what’s “behind door #3”- and you’re just not sure of the surprise behind the curtain. I suggest that you be a little scientific about the process of making a move to a senior living community. Make a list of all the things that would make a real improvement in your life. Think about chores, transportation, activities you’d like to learn and participate in (that you’re either too tired to do or may have to drive all over town to get to), think about making wonderful new friendships, think about having chefs preparing nutritious and scrumptious meals for you, think about having 24 hour security, think about not ever having to change another light bulb.

Now, match up all your goals to what a senior living community is offering (which I call “benefits”). Ask as many questions as it takes to get these benefits clarified. Finally (where a little more science comes in), discuss fees (usually in the form of a lease) and ask a sales specialist to help you compare your current cost of living to that of living at the senior living community (you will be very surprised that costs are similar).

Part 2: When is it Time to have a Family Meeting...

Philip D. Shapiro, M.H.A. is the Developer and Executive Director of Promenade on the River, an active senior living community (www.promenadereno.com) and the President of Traditions Integrated Care Communities, a senior living consulting firm, both based in Reno. Phil can be reached at 775.345.6941

Complete List of Articles